🐾 contact [ riverview ]

[ichimyatsu]

i'm ichimatsu
leave a message and i guess i'll return your call if i care

🐾 text 🐾 voicemail 🐾 action 🐾 etc
[please designate in the subject line, date optional! ichimatsu currently lives alone in private housing; floor 9, room 2.]

Comments

[ichimyatsu]

[He levels a deadpan with Karamatsu's curled distress, sighing and leaning back against the bedframe behind him.]

God, I need a fucking cigarette. [He stares at the ceiling for a long time, pressing his foot into Karamatsu and rocking between the bedframe and his brother's shin in some kind of unconscious anxious movement. He recognizes fully well that Karamatsu's stressed out, and legitimately so for once, and that he's not just being a damn drama queen about this. He's upset, he's honestly upset, and Ichimatsu has never learned how to handle this kind of thing. Least of all from Fakey McPretendpants, who seems the only one of them more dedicated to his lifestyle of pretending he was okay when he wasn't than himself.]

If you already know I don't, why are you so fixated on it? Crybaby.

[glitterpants]

Because I--
I will continue to make mistakes like this.. and then eventually.. you might leave me because I am not perfect and loving!
_{[There it is. The fear of being alone. Kind of familiar, isn't it?
Oh yeah, and the sobbing. That's familiar too.]}

[ichimyatsu]

[The sobbing is familiar, but at the same time it's uncomfortably unfamiliar, because it's genuine. It's not just Karamatsu being Karamatsu, dramatic and painful and over exaggerating literally everything. And it makes his stomach twist in a way that doesn't quite hurt, but makes him a little bit nauseous, and he really, really doesn't like that. He makes a faint gurgling sound in the back of his throat and moves his leg to hook his foot behind Karamatsu's calf, tugging.]

I know that, Karamatsu. We're fucking family, and I'm not blind. You're a hell of a lot better at being loving than I am, so just... Shut up, already.

[He's still tugging on his leg. Come here, you shitty awful sobbing gross brother.]

[glitterpants]

_{[ He's so pathetic, practically lying on the floor and letting his tears flow free. The second Ichimatsu indicates any invitation to bring him over is the second he drags himself across the floor and burrows head first into Ichimatsu's shoulder. He's gonna get your clothes all snotty. ]}

I just.. want to be the best person I can be..!
_{[ Truly though? He has no idea how to do that. ]}

[ichimyatsu]

[He's momentarily having a regret in letting Karamatsu come over here, but he sets his jaw and lets him burrow against his shoulder anyway, looking the other way.]

Newsflash, Sherlock, we're not good people to begin with.

[glitterpants]

I--!
_{[ He wants to argue with Ichimatsu, for as hopeful as he is, he believes there's goodness in all people. Whether that's sincere or not, it's hard to know just how much he really does have faith in others. He doesn't even think Ichimatsu is a bad person, just very misunderstood. He rubs his face further into Ichimatsu's shoulder, seeming to be done with his tears (for now) but that doesn't mean he'll be less dramatic.
Instead of saying "I don't believe that," he settles for the truth: ]}

... I am so exhausted of being that though.

[ichimyatsu]

[He's not as terrible as he likes to make people think, no. But he's certainly not a good person. So few people in this day and age are, though. He rolls his eyes and tries not to tense his shoulders too much with Karamatsu rubbing his face all in his shirt, smearing snot and tears all through the fabric until his collarbone is damp, giving Nyanko a withering gaze.]

So sorry your were born into a family of shitty losers. [His tone is dry.]

[glitterpants]

No, _{[ he goes on, we're gonna be talking in circles.. ]}
I think.. I would much rather be born into a large family without success than be an only child with success. It just seems better that way, knowing I belong somewhere.

[ichimyatsu]

[Maybe you'll be talking in circles... Ichimatsu's about done with the conversation so he just shrugs, leaning back against the bedframe and looking the other way. Have your fit, Karamatsu, he's just about reached capacity for dealing.]